My husband is a sports radio broadcaster in Chicago. It must have been a slow sports news day last week, as I received the following text from a friend: “Dan is discussing tuxes and weddings. It’s cracking me up.”
Intrigued, I decided to tune in. (I don’t normally listen to him – on the radio or at home, for that matter.)
He was in an argument with his recently-married producer about whether or not all men in the wedding party should wear the same tux.
Producer’s opinion: "Absolutely."
Dan: "No. I own my own tux. I wore it in my cousin’s wedding before I got married, wore it for my own wedding, and have worn it to every other wedding I stood up in since. If I have my own, why would I have to rent one?"
Producer: "So you match."
Dan: "A tux is a tux!"
I agree with my husband (which is rare). A classic black tux is just that. Classic. If you want your male or butch attendants to all wear the same tie, that’s fine. Ask them to rent the tie or even better, provide it for them.
If you own a tux, it should come with both a cummerbund (for people who got married in the 80s) and a set of suspenders. So you can decide which look you would like all of them to have and those that own a tux can be consistent with the others.
The latest trend in bridesmaid fashion is for women to wear different style dresses so they can choose one that fits their body type best. Even wearing different shades in the same color palette is in vogue. If women don’t have to match, why on earth do men?
Unless you are going for a completely different look for the men than a traditional black tux (light blue with wide lapels circa 1978 perhaps), please don’t ask your friends and family to spend money on renting when they have already invested in purchasing one. (Which every man should do, but that’s a different post.)
Full disclosure: When my husband and I got married in 1999, I was informed that his cousin would be wearing his own tux in the wedding. It was double-breasted. I was 28, a complete bridezilla, and freaked out. “But no one else has a double-breasted tux! It’s going to look awful, just awful! He MUST rent one.” The response I received from Dan’s family was clear: Brian would wear his own tux and that’s that.
Guess what? He looked great because he was in a custom-fitted tux, it was black just like the others, and no one noticed it was slightly different. Not even me. I was too busy being blissfully happy, as I was about to marry the person with whom I would spend the rest of my life
A tux is a tux, but a partner for life is not as easy to find the perfect match for.
Photo courtesy of Garbo Productions