Colorado Bakery Stands up for Equality, Refuses to Make Anti-Gay Cake [VIDEO]
Published: Sunday, 25 January 2015 09:11
Colorado Bakery Stands up for Equality, Refuses to Make Anti-Gay Cake [VIDEO]

A Colorado bakery is under investigation for religious discrimination after a baker refused to write anti-gay words on a cake.

Supreme Court Agrees to Review Marriage Equality for the Country
Published: Friday, 16 January 2015 20:51
Supreme Court Agrees to Review Marriage Equality for the Country

The Supreme Court will make a historic decision this term about whether gay couples have a constitutional right to marry.

Best Cities in America for LGBTQ Weddings?
Published: Monday, 12 January 2015 13:44
Best Cities in America for LGBTQ Weddings?

If you're considering a destination wedding, perhaps you'll want to consider one of the queerest cities in America.

Michael Sam is Engaged to Boyfriend Vito Cammisano
Published: Friday, 09 January 2015 17:19
Michael Sam is Engaged to Boyfriend Vito Cammisano

Congratulations to Michael Sam and Vito Cammisano on their engagement!

Same-Sex Wedding Workshop and Brunch with A Monique Affair
Published: Thursday, 08 January 2015 19:39
Same-Sex Wedding Workshop and Brunch with A Monique Affair

Our dear friends at A Monique Affair  in Oakland, Calif. are hosting a lovely workshop Jan. 17 for same-sex couples to come have brunch and learn from wedding professionals in a relaxed environment about wedding planning.

Good Tidings: Holiday Gifts Worth Giving
Published: Tuesday, 02 December 2014 05:06
Good Tidings: Holiday Gifts Worth Giving

A few of our favorites for this year's most promising purchases to celebrate the best people in your life.



sharda-anna-lesbian-wedding-how-to-plan-gay-wedding-vendors

While most of our readers are couples planning their weddings or engagements, we do have quite a few wedding vendors who enjoy Equally Wed’s articles as well. One of the questions I get asked at most any function I speak at is: “How can I make my wedding business more gay-friendly?”

I thought I’d take a moment to answer that question the way I do in those conversations for everyone to have a better sense of understanding of how to make your gay, lesbian and transgender clients feel at ease when working with you.

It’s a matter of dos and don’ts, really.

DO

  • Know that not everyone wants to be referred to as a bride or a groom. Some members of our LBGTQ community don’t identify with a gender or feel a connection to both genders, and many feel that the term bride is both antiquated and antifeminist.
  • Change all your materials (website content, brochures, all contracts) to reflect gender-neutral terms, i.e. the couple, you and your partner, partner A and partner B (in forms and contracts).
  • Be respectful to both partners, and treat them with as much courtesy and respect as you would for your heterosexual clientele.
  • Do consider putting out a basket of white knots in your office with a small sign that reads “I support everyone’s right to tie the knot.” You can get a few hundred mailed to you for a small fee from the celebrity-endorsed nonprofit WhiteKnot.org. This will ensure your gay and lesbian customers planning a wedding feel comfortable right from the start, and it helps educate your straight clients, as well. Proud allies are very influential.

DON’T

  • Don't make stupid jokes, i.e. “Who’s the bride?” Whether your intentions are good or not, what comes across is “I’m so stuck in my self-righteous ideas of what a wedding consists of that I will never be enlightened enough to realize that love is love, and nothing else matters.”
  • Don’t ask offensive questions, i.e. “Are your parents supporting this?” (Whether they are or not is simply none of your business, and your question implies that you think the parents or anyone else has a right not to be supportive of this relationship.)
  • Don’t isolate your services to gay and lesbian clients by relegating your offerings to a section for commitment ceremonies. The term sends chills down my spine. It’s akin to offering your same-sex couples the opportunity to drink out of a water fountain with a sign above it that reads, “Gays Only.” Not cool.
  • Don’t ever use the term lifestyle when speaking about someone’s sexual orientation. We’re not necessarily avid tennis players or crazy club-goers. This is not a style of life. This is a genetic, innate part of who we are. We were born this way. A lifestyle is a choice, and being gay is not. Your use of the term implies that you think otherwise.
  • Don’t assume anything. Don’t assume that a masculine woman is going to don a wedding gown or that an effeminate man is going to, either. But don’t be surprised if they do. It’s just better to ask what they’re planning for their attire, and respond in a respectful manner. People of all orientations dress how they’re most comfortable – on and off their wedding day. The same goes for a couple's preference for two boutonnieres, two bouquets or one of each. Just ask simply what the couple is thinking for their flowers or cakes. Let them tell you instead of implying what you think they should do.
  • Don’t ask if this is legal. Don’t say “but this won’t be legal.” A wedding is a ceremony of marriage, a commitment of two consenting adults who love each other and are promising their lives to one another. It does not require a trip to the courthouse. Hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples around the world are holding wedding ceremonies without a legal marriage certificate because it’s the right time for them to commit to each other—with or without the government’s recognition of it. If you’re concerned that your clients aren’t getting full marital rights as a gay or lesbian couple, make sure you speak out on their behalf, give money to organizations such as Lambda Legal, Freedom to Marry and the Human Rights Campaign, and, of course, vote for marriage equality.


Photo: Ron Soliman Photojournalism
 

Log In to EquallyWed.com

MOST POPULAR

Seven Bloodcurdling Bridal Looks for Halloween
Seven Bloodcurdling Bridal Looks for Halloween
Published: Thursday, 30 October 2014 20:36
The United States and The World Takes a Stand for Gay Rights
The United States and The World Takes a Stand for Gay Rights
Published: Tuesday, 14 October 2014 17:39
How Do We Recognize Blended Families in Our Wedding Invitations?
How Do We Recognize Blended Families in Our Wedding Invitations?
Published: Friday, 12 September 2014 18:32
Romancing the Stone
Romancing the Stone
Published: Wednesday, 10 September 2014 18:13
Feeling Beautiful on Your Wedding Day and Beyond
Feeling Beautiful on Your Wedding Day and Beyond
Published: Monday, 08 September 2014 19:49
A Conservative Father's Love for his Lesbian Daughter
A Conservative Father's Love for his Lesbian Daughter
Published: Tuesday, 12 August 2014 20:55
Something and Nothing and Love for Always
Something and Nothing and Love for Always
Published: Thursday, 07 August 2014 16:53
Lessons on Love from a Divorced Gay Man
Lessons on Love from a Divorced Gay Man
Published: Wednesday, 06 August 2014 14:19
Lessons on Devotion from 'Gone With the Wind'
Lessons on Devotion from 'Gone With the Wind'
Published: Friday, 01 August 2014 18:20
How Queer Radicalism and Gay Progressivism Can Meet in the Middle
How Queer Radicalism and Gay Progressivism Can Meet in the Middle
Published: Wednesday, 30 July 2014 19:05

Donate To Equally Wed