While planning their Sept. 18 ceremony in New York, they tacked on a Boston celebration the following week to be legally wed, but thanks to New York’s passage of the marriage equality bill that summer, they were able to do so in their home state. “We had thought that [the Boston ceremony] would have to be the legal wedding, but it turned out to be a day to celebrate with Paul’s community and family in Boston,” says Jay.

The bridegrooms wore coordinated (“but not matchy-matchy,” notes Paul) tailored suits from Hickey Freeman. Paul accessorized with a sage green tie while Paul donned a periwinkle one, and both grooms topped off their looks with a simple succulent boutonniere.

Wanting to infuse their own personality into the day, both grooms were intimately involved in the wedding planning process. Guided by their invaluable wedding planner, Elizabeth Dodd of Tandem Weddings and Events, they designed their own invitations, wrote their own ketubah and even built their own chuppah. “We really took the opportunity to create a ceremony that was alive and contemporary and true to us, while also staying true to traditional elements and to the sacredness of what a wedding ceremony is, at its core,” says Paul.

Their non-traditional Jewish ceremony was tweaked to fit the couple. “Ultimately, it felt perfect,” says Paul. “The ceremony itself was a profound a holy moment for us both, and the reception afterward was all the festive and exuberant things we’d hoped it would be, both for us and for our families and friends.”

Guests were then invited outside underneath the welcoming branches of a 100-year-old maple tree and their handmade chuppah. The erusin blessing, the betrothal blessing, was recited followed by a liturgy Jay composed himself that celebrates the gifts of joy and pleasure, infused with scriptures of the love shared between Jonathan and David that said, “’And the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David,’ and the ecstasy of the heart, as it is said ‘I am drunk with the kisses of his mouth, for my beloved is more intoxicating than wine.’”

They then recited two legally binding Jewish vows. The first of which were the words spoken between David and Jonathan when they sealed their covenant of love, followed by the legal vow.

The seven blessings were said over a cup of wine, modified so it was more inclusive of same-sex marriage, and finally, the rabbi pronounced them “Married according to the laws of the state of New York.”

“Words we didn’t think he would be able to say when we started planning this ceremony a year before,” says Jay.

After the traditional breaking of the glass, guests were escorted to the tented reception, as “Mazel Tov!” filled the air.

Inspired by the ceremony backdrop, many of the two grooms' decorative items, from the program to the table numbers, featured an intricately detailed black-and-white tree graphic.

Their first dance as partners for life was to Wilco’s You and I, the song that Jay sang to Paul when he proposed.

Keeping with the tree motif, they opted for apples, plucked straight from the local trees, as the centerpieces in lieu of blooms. At the end of the evening, guests were encouraged to take home the fruits as favors.

Jay and Paul’s décor consisted of deeply sentimental details. They brought in small rocks from the upstate retreat where they had met just two years before, and invited guests to write words of blessings on them. Those rocks, emblazoned with words from their loved ones, are now sprinkled throughout their garden.

Guests dined on a three-course meal, beginning with traditional and gluten-free challah, then enjoyed a green salad with beets, pears, goat cheese and glazed walnuts followed by a main course choice of pan-seared cod with peach salsa and asparagus or artichoke and red pepper strudel.

Dessert came in the decadently delicious form of gluten-free and vegan cupcakes from New York City’s famed Babycakes bakery in an array of flavors: chocolate brownie cake with strawberry frosting, banana with maple frosting, vanilla with vanilla frosting and carrot cake topped with vanilla.

While the ceremony took on a slower, more traditional pace, the reception was the exact opposite. Not scrimping on expenses, they decided early on during the planning process that their big ticket item was going to be the music. Their mission: Get the best and throw a party to remember.

“We had a live band that focused on funk and klezmer fusion,” explains Jay. “Plus a diva named AnOmali who brought down the house.”

The splurge turned out to be worth every penny, because the result was the ultimate Jewish wedding dancing. “I’ve been to many weddings in many traditions—this was the most intense dancing I’ve ever seen,” exclaims Jay. Or as one guest exuberantly proclaimed on Facebook the next day, “the simcha dancing was primal!”

“We’re both gratified that the fun and energy of it exceeded even our high hopes,” says Paul.

Backed by the band, Jay serenaded his new husband, crooning the iconic Bill Withers’s Lean on Me, and then giving way to the funky tune Use Me.

The overall day fitted the couple to a T, with just the right amount of tradition and personalization. “It was joyous, festive, elegant but not formal,” says Jay. “It was real.”

“It was a sense of completion—an outward parallel to the big inner leap I made a year earlier, when Jay proposed,” says Paul. “I was stunned and yet I said yes immediately, and there is that intimidating ‘Yikes!’ feeling that comes with making a major life decision, but yes felt 100 percent true.”

“Same for saying ‘I do’ in our ceremony and reflecting on it right afterward … the scary feeling of yikes, this is it and the joy, the feeling of it being 100 percent true. For me it felt very potent and gratifying, the whole experience.”