[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/a-guide-to-writing-nontraditional-inclusive-wedding-vows\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/a-guide-to-writing-nontraditional-inclusive-wedding-vows\/","headline":"A Guide to Writing Nontraditional, Inclusive Wedding Vows","name":"A Guide to Writing Nontraditional, Inclusive Wedding Vows","description":"Your wedding vows are one of the most personal, powerful parts of your celebration. They\u2019re not just words\u2014they\u2019re promises. For many LGBTQ+ couples, traditional vows...","datePublished":"2025-04-18","dateModified":"2025-04-18","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/eweditors\/#Person","name":"Equally Wed","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/eweditors\/","identifier":3,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Equally Wed","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/two-bride-wedding-downtown-la-plant-backdrop-the-i-do-photography.webp","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/two-bride-wedding-downtown-la-plant-backdrop-the-i-do-photography.webp","height":800,"width":1200},"url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/a-guide-to-writing-nontraditional-inclusive-wedding-vows\/","about":["Ceremonies & Traditions","Planning","Planning"],"wordCount":847,"articleBody":"Your wedding vows are one of the most personal, powerful parts of your celebration. They\u2019re not just words\u2014they\u2019re promises. For many LGBTQ+ couples, traditional vows don\u2019t reflect our love stories, identities, or the lives we\u2019ve built outside the lines. And guess what? That\u2019s not just okay\u2014it\u2019s beautiful.If you\u2019re looking to craft vows that are authentic, inclusive, and deeply meaningful, this guide is for you. Whether you\u2019re poetic or playful, emotional or irreverent, there\u2019s no wrong way to write vows\u2014as long as they reflect you.Vows That Reflect You, Not TraditionLet\u2019s be real: not everyone wants to say \u201cto love, honor, and obey.\u201d For LGBTQ+ couples\u2014especially those navigating a world that hasn\u2019t always made room for our love\u2014wedding vows are a powerful moment of self-definition. It\u2019s your chance to speak your truth, on your terms.More and more couples are ditching outdated scripts in favor of vows that reflect who they are, what they\u2019ve overcome, and the future they\u2019re building together.\ud83d\udcac \u201cI vowed to always warm her feet in winter and fight for our queer joy, every day.\u201d\u2013 Sam (they\/she)Ask These Questions Before You Start WritingBefore you sit down with a blank page and a racing heart, pause to reflect. Your vows are a love letter to your partner\u2014here are a few questions to spark your thoughts:What does commitment mean to us?How has our relationship changed me for the better?What\u2019s one memory I never want to forget?How do I want to show up for you in the years ahead?What do I admire most about you?You don\u2019t have to answer them all\u2014just let your thoughts flow and see what rises to the surface.Tips for Writing Vows That Feel True to YouWriting your vows can feel intimidating, but it doesn\u2019t have to be. Here are some grounding tips to help you write with love (not pressure):Be yourself. Speak how you naturally speak. Vows don\u2019t have to sound like Shakespeare to be powerful.Include stories. Share a moment that changed you, a time your partner showed up for you, or something uniquely you two.Feel your feels. It\u2019s okay to be funny, sentimental, romantic, awkward\u2014even all of the above.Ditch the gender scripts. Use language that affirms your identity and your relationship. Your vows don\u2019t need to follow a format that was never built for you.Agreeing on Tone (Without Matching Exactly)You and your partner don\u2019t need to write matching vows, but it helps to talk about tone and length ahead of time. Are you going for romantic, light-hearted, or deeply emotional? Will you read them during the ceremony or privately beforehand?Setting expectations together helps prevent one person from giving a short, casual speech while the other delivers a tearful epic poem. (Unless that\u2019s your vibe\u2014in which case, carry on.)Inclusive Vow Examples & PromptsNeed some language inspiration? Here are a few affirming, nontraditional vow starters and ideas:\u201cI promise to be your safe place and your soft landing.\u201d\u201cI vow to keep learning how to love you in the way you need.\u201d\u201cI promise to honor your identity, your journey, and your truth.\u201d\u201cI will celebrate our joy, even when the world doesn\u2019t understand it.\u201d\u201cI vow to make our home one where love always wins.\u201dThese aren\u2019t one-size-fits-all\u2014feel free to adapt and personalize what speaks to you.\ud83d\udcdd Tip: For trans and nonbinary folks, consider using names instead of pronouns, or affirming identity in your vows (\u201cI love every version of you, and I always will.\u201d).Queer-Friendly Tools and Inspiration SourcesSometimes it helps to have a little structure. These tools and sources can help spark your creativity:Journaling prompts \u2013 Start a vow-writing journal and jot down favorite memories, shared goals, or things you admire about your partner.Apps like Provenance or VowMuse \u2013 These services offer helpful vow-writing frameworks.Read love poems and queer literature \u2013 Inspiration is everywhere!LGBTQ+ wedding blogs \u2013 Like this one! Real vow examples from other couples can be incredibly helpful.How to Practice (Without Feeling Cringe)Worried about reading your vows without choking up or laughing nervously? Here\u2019s how to get more comfortable:Practice out loud\u2014to yourself, your dog, or a trusted friend.Print or write them down\u2014bonus points for cute vow booklets you can keep.Give yourself grace. This is a big moment. Tears, laughter, and shaky voices are all perfect.There Are No Rules\u2014Just LoveAt the end of the day, your vows don\u2019t need to impress anyone. They\u2019re for you and your partner. Write what\u2019s real. Speak from the heart. And remember: love, in all its queer and glorious forms, deserves to be celebrated exactly as it is.You\u2019re not just writing vows\u2014you\u2019re writing your story. And that story is already extraordinary.Top Photo: I Do Photography, an Equally Wed Preferred Vendor"},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"A Guide to Writing Nontraditional, Inclusive Wedding Vows","item":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/a-guide-to-writing-nontraditional-inclusive-wedding-vows\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]