[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/de-stress-your-wedding-planning\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/de-stress-your-wedding-planning\/","headline":"De-Stress Your Wedding Planning","name":"De-Stress Your Wedding Planning","description":"Give yourself\u2014and your partner\u2014a chance to breathe in the months before your wedding with these easy, expert tips. Give yourself\u2014and your partner\u2014a chance to breathe...","datePublished":"2011-07-01","dateModified":"2021-06-21","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/admin\/#Person","name":"Equally Wed","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/admin\/","identifier":787,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Equally Wed","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/gay-lesbian-new-york-weddings-alison-irene.jpg","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/gay-lesbian-new-york-weddings-alison-irene.jpg","height":210,"width":328},"url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/de-stress-your-wedding-planning\/","about":["Planning"],"wordCount":623,"articleBody":" Give yourself\u2014and your partner\u2014a chance to breathe in the months before your wedding with these easy, expert tips.Give yourself\u2014and your partner\u2014a chance to breathe in the months before your wedding with these easy, expert tips.By Patti Zielinski Alison and Irene, Photo Courtesy of Our Labor of Love Marcos and Frank, Photo Courtesy of Star Sargenti and Michael Deco of Harmony Wedding Photography  Kelly and Dani, Photo Courtesy of Tinywater Photography…\u201cThere can be a dark side to wedding planning: stress,\u201d says Gregory A. Kuhlman, Ph.D., founder of the Marriage Success Training workshops (stayhitched.com) and director of the Mental Health Counseling Program at Brooklyn College, City University of New York. Financial strains, opinionated family members and anxious significant others can all be pre-wedding stressors. \u201cStress management is more difficult during this time since your natural support system\u2014your partner, friends and family\u2014are now potential sources of stress. Many couples break up during their wedding planning because they haven\u2019t taken measures to protect their relationship from stress.\u201dSo what can you do to protect yourself and your loved one from burning out before the ceremony? Here\u2019s Kuhlman\u2019s advice: Keep your expectations realistic. \u201cUnderstand that stress and difficulty are inescapable as part of the run-up to getting married,\u201d he says.Sort out sources of stress into those you can control and those you can\u2019t.For example, you can\u2019t influence the attitudes of family members, but you can control things like finances and your own attitude.Monitor and be realistic about finances.\u201cIf you\u2019re being overly expansive or if your expenses are greater than anticipated\u2014vendors can nickel-and-dime you to death\u2014you\u2019re putting yourself under stress,\u201d Kuhlman says. \u201cIt\u2019s more important to be realistic than to stick with idealistic plans that will put you under tremendous financial stress.\u201dDon\u2019t forget date night.\u201cWedding planning tends to get all-consuming for people. They tend to think \u2018Oh, yes, we\u2019re a little stressed now, so we\u2019ll put our relationship on hold until we get through this.\u2019 That\u2019s a very dangerous approach,\u201d Kuhlman says. \u201cTry to preserve your bond. When you start your wedding-planning calendar, add in some time away from wedding planning and events\u2014especially in that last month. Make a hotel reservation and go somewhere else if you can.\u201d During these getaways, he adds, it\u2019s important to not talk about the wedding or any other problems.Use tried-and-true de-stressing techniques.\u201cYoga, meditation, journaling and leisure pursuits are all great ways to manage stress,\u201d Kuhlman says.Monitor your self-talk.\u201cWe all have a dialog inside our heads,\u201d Kuhlman explains. \u201cIf you think stress-arising things, you tend to have more stress. If you catastrophize, you\u2019re going to make the stress worse. If you find yourself catastrophizing things, you can\u2019t just tell yourself, \u2018No, stop that,\u2019 because nature abhors a vacuum. You need to put something positive in its place. Even the simplest things work, like this mantra: \u2018It\u2019s going to be OK. We\u2019re going to be married, and it\u2019s going to be fine. We love each other.\u2019\u201d Likewise, he notes, be cognizant of saying supportive things to your partner.Consider pre-marital education classes.\u201cPre-marital counseling is what people think of for marriage preparation, but what most people can use more is pre-marital education,\u201d Kuhlman says. During these classes, which can last for as short as a day up to a few weeks, couples learn about the normal stresses and issues that people face in long-term relationships and what they can do to give their relationship the best chance to succeed. Visit smartmarriages.org to find classes geared to your unique relationship and time constraints."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"De-Stress Your Wedding Planning","item":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/de-stress-your-wedding-planning\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]