[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/how-our-lives-changed-when-we-became-gay-parents-with-kids\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/how-our-lives-changed-when-we-became-gay-parents-with-kids\/","headline":"How our lives changed when we became gay parents with kids","name":"How our lives changed when we became gay parents with kids","description":"Since having kids, time by ourselves has become pretty much non-existent.\u00a0We recently just found ways to fit it in, like movie nights while they're asleep.","datePublished":"2019-06-24","dateModified":"2019-07-31","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/christinabailey\/#Person","name":"Christina (Babybaileymamadrama)","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/christinabailey\/","identifier":6739,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2b3b068f8a55ba24989ef7c6b65bd8e99dfdad1cf71edc2894ae5361af651dd4?s=96&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2b3b068f8a55ba24989ef7c6b65bd8e99dfdad1cf71edc2894ae5361af651dd4?s=96&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Equally Wed","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Family-e1560460798411.jpg","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Family-e1560460798411.jpg","height":823,"width":1500},"url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/how-our-lives-changed-when-we-became-gay-parents-with-kids\/","about":["Family"],"wordCount":1338,"keywords":["family","family travel","gay family","gay parents","gay travel","lesbian family","lesbian parents","lesbian travel","LGBTQ family","LGBTQ travel","same-sex parents","travel","travel with kids","two moms"],"articleBody":"I have been through many changes when it comes to relationships.\u00a0I have been in short-term relationships and long-term relationships before I met the girl I was going to marry.\u00a0But all these previous relationships were with men.\u00a0I was never in a serious relationship with a girl until I met Katie. When I realized I liked girls, I knew I wanted a serious relationship with one. Every time I sought one out, it never worked out that way.\u00a0I turned to online dating and that is when I met Katie.\u00a0We met, hit things off right away, and started dating.\u00a0When we started dating, we both weren\u2019t completely out to our friends and family.\u00a0This meant we never acted like we were a couple when we were out in public.\u00a0We both also felt like it wasn\u2019t fully accepted in society so it made us feel awkward.\u00a0We hung out at each other\u2019s places a lot, watched many movies, went out to eat and traveled on the weekends.\u00a0We actually don\u2019t have many kissing photos of us at the beginning of our relationship because we didn\u2019t feel safe taking them in public, because of a time early in our relationship when\u00a0we were taking a kissing photo together and a woman told us that doing that in public was unacceptable and we should get a room. That moment just verified how nervous we were to be a couple in public.\u00a0When we were out in public, we never corrected people when they asked if we were sisters, friends, twins?\u00a0So many weird labels.\u00a0We didn\u2019t want to be insulted by anyone for being gay and we just wanted to be happy.\u00a0We were happy.\u00a0Like most couples starting out, we just couldn\u2019t get enough of each other.\u00a0Every spare moment we had we wanted to be together.\u00a0Fast forward to about a year later and we decided to get married!\u00a0 At this point, we had finally come out to friends and family.\u00a0We wanted to save as much money as possible to buy a house and start a family of our own, so having a small wedding was ideal.\u00a0We Googled officiants who performed civil unions (same-sex marriage wasn\u2019t legal yet federally) in Hawaii, picked one, flew to Hawaii and got married on the beach.\u00a0The only people who attended were my parents.I remember still feeling nervous that day when people on the beach watched us as we got married.\u00a0I had made us tank tops that said, \u201cjust married\u201d on it and we were nervous to put them on in public, but we did it anyway.\u00a0If you can\u2019t tell, even a year after being together, being out in public was still a daily challenge for us.\u00a0When we got back from Hawaii, we celebrated with family and friends.\u00a0To this day, we still try not to kiss in front of anyone, even family and friends.\u00a0I\u2019m not sure why, but maybe it\u2019s because of the way society has made us feel all these years.https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/Bu181fmHvwS\/Katie and I moved in together.\u00a0We adjusted fine.\u00a0We started saving our money and going on little weekend getaways.\u00a0We loved traveling.\u00a0The beach was always calling our name.\u00a0 We also splurged and traveled to the two places we wanted to go before having kids: Ireland and Italy.\u00a0Even when we traveled, we never told people we were married.Six years after being married, our first daughter was born and we had moved into a new house.\u00a0We had to come out several times after having our first kid.\u00a0I felt like I was always explaining there were two moms, no dad.\u00a0It was annoying, but most of the time mandatory, so our child wasn\u2019t involved in a lie.\u00a0Sometimes the reaction was good, other times bad and it was always awkward. We were slowly getting more comfortable telling people we were a gay couple with a child.RELATED: RAISING OUR CHILDREN AS A TWO-MOM FAMILY ISN\u2019T ALWAYS EASY, BUT WE LOVE ITWe encountered many problems having our first child so traveling was almost non-existent in our lives.\u00a0This was a huge change for us compared to when we were a couple.\u00a0When our daughter was a baby, we took her to the beach twice and were exhausted with how much packing was involved for a baby.\u00a0The couple we used to be was no more when it came to weekend travels.\u00a0It didn\u2019t bother us though because our lives were consumed with this beautiful little girl who filled our lives with joy.\u00a0 \u00a0As time went on, we had another daughter, where we encountered more complications with another pregnancy.\u00a0Many things change from one baby to two.\u00a0 Even though we still had problems having our second daughter, we were more laid back and not so uptight and worried all the time.\u00a0We decided to get back out there and travel.\u00a0We missed the traveling we had craved as a couple.\u00a0There really is no good time to travel with kids.\u00a0You just have to get out there and do it.\u00a0The kids learn as time goes on to be better behaved and there will always be those moments where you feel like your kids are the worst behaved kids out there.\u00a0You aren\u2019t alone!\u00a0I don\u2019t regret taking our kids traveling; it’s been a struggle at times but so is being at home with them. We are taking the kids out of the country for the first time this summer and we are so excited for them to see Canada, Italy, France and Spain.https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/Bw2KZD9HDko\/Since having kids, time by ourselves has become pretty much non-existent.\u00a0We recently just found ways to fit it in, such as movie nights when the kids are in bed, spending their naptime together, going on short dates when my parents watch the kids.\u00a0It’s\u00a0important to make time for one another.\u00a0We didn\u2019t even realize how we didn\u2019t have any until recently.\u00a0It\u2019s been three years!\u00a0Parenthood has had us so busy we sometimes forget important things like quality time together. Another thing we have found ourselves doing is arguing about the kids.\u00a0So instead of arguing about things we did as a couple, we now argue about how we are raising our children.\u00a0It’s important to find some common ground and realize that two people will not raise a child the exact same way. You may have to remind yourselves of this several times because Katie and I still forget that we are two different people and we will not tackle everything the same way.\u00a0 \u00a0It\u2019s easy to say that things change when you get married and things change when you have kids, but it\u2019s not easy to see what those changes are when they’re still ahead.\u00a0Our lives have changed a lot since we were a couple: Now we’re married with two children.\u00a0We are definitely out more to the public.\u00a0We still don\u2019t act completely like a couple in public but most of the time, that’s because we are on kid duty and not a lot of romance is happening in public when you are dealing with two kids.\u00a0We’ve had to make time to spend with just the two of us.\u00a0And we’ve finally been able to prioritize traveling again.\u00a0 Traveling with two kids looks very different than it did as a couple, but seeing our kids experience things for the first time has been amazing.We are a girl meets girl love story! We fell in love, got married and we now have two children via reciprocal IVF. We love to travel and show our kids as much of the world as possible. You can find Christina and Katie on Instagram and YouTube."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"How our lives changed when we became gay parents with kids","item":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/how-our-lives-changed-when-we-became-gay-parents-with-kids\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]