[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/invited-to-a-wedding-by-someone-who-skipped-yours\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/invited-to-a-wedding-by-someone-who-skipped-yours\/","headline":"Invited to a Wedding by Someone Who Skipped Yours","name":"Invited to a Wedding by Someone Who Skipped Yours","description":"Q What is the proper etiquette when you are invited to a wedding of a heterosexual couple who did not or would not attend your...","datePublished":"2012-11-13","dateModified":"2021-06-30","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/admin\/#Person","name":"Equally Wed","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/admin\/","identifier":787,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Equally Wed","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60},"url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/invited-to-a-wedding-by-someone-who-skipped-yours\/","about":["Ask Kirsten"],"wordCount":608,"articleBody":" Q What is the proper etiquette when you are invited to a   wedding of a heterosexual couple who did not or would not attend your   same-sex wedding?A I definitely need more information to give you an   exact answer, but let\u2019s go through the possible scenarios. We\u2019ll call this   straight couple Bruce and Maggie: 1.) You were at a cousin\u2019s barbecue this summer and overheard this couple   saying no way in hell would they ever go to a gay wedding. Knowing they   wouldn\u2019t attend yours gives you every right to not attend theirs. On   principle alone, I say don\u2019t go! Furthermore, I\u2019d suggest sending a short   note indicating such along with your response card stating that you and your   partner will not be attending their wedding.  2.) You invited this couple to your wedding last year, and they never gave an   explanation as to why they couldn\u2019t come or you didn\u2019t believe their excuse   that Bruce couldn\u2019t possibly cancel his skydiving excursion even though you   gave them the appropriate six-week notice with an invitation and Maggie   simply had to be there to watch him land. Since you don\u2019t know for sure why   they didn\u2019t come to yours, you don\u2019t have reasonable cause to give them a   piece of your mind, no matter how much you were hurt by their actions\u2014or inactions,   rather. But you still don\u2019t have to go to their wedding. Simply send a response card stating that you and your partner won\u2019t be able   to make it, and if you wish, follow up with a note that you\u2019ll be applying   for skydiving lessons and there\u2019s a chance your jump could be scheduled for   the same day as their wedding and your partner simply couldn\u2019t bear to not be   there to witness your big day.  3.) You haven\u2019t tied the knot yet \u2026 hell, you might even still be single. But   you\u2019re bitter as hell that all the straights in the nation are born with the   right to apply for a marriage license in any state of their choosing\u2014and you   can\u2019t. Your pals Bruce and Maggie are staunch Republicans and you suspect   that they could be against marriage equality, but you\u2019ve never dared bring it   up to them. Therefore, you\u2019re pretty sure they\u2019d never come to your same-sex   wedding, if you were ever lucky enough to have one.  Now you\u2019re invited to theirs, and you\u2019re at a loss for what to do. The way I   see it, you have three options:  1.) Adjust your attitude: Don\u2019t see their automatic rights as an affront to   yours. If you love them, go to their wedding and celebrate their love. When   it\u2019s your turn, hopefully, they\u2019ll return the favor.  2.) If they\u2019re close enough friends to invite you to their wedding, then   perhaps they\u2019re special enough to meet for lunch and discuss your feelings.   Assumptions about what people would do or think can lead to bad decisions. If   they give you a line of BS about their morals won\u2019t allow them to support   same-sex marriage, then you know what to do. 3.) Check no on the response card. Give no explanation. Sign up for skydiving   lessons.\u00a0Kirsten Ott   Palladino is the co-founder and editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation\u2019s   leading gay and lesbian wedding and honeymoon magazine. Follow her on Twitter.   Connect with her on Facebook. Write her with your gay wedding questions. If she can’t   answer it, she’ll find another expert who can!"},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Invited to a Wedding by Someone Who Skipped Yours","item":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/invited-to-a-wedding-by-someone-who-skipped-yours\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]