[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/kathryn-amy-gay-weddings-pioneer-legally-marries-her-partner-of-20-years\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/kathryn-amy-gay-weddings-pioneer-legally-marries-her-partner-of-20-years\/","headline":"Gay weddings pioneer legally marries partner of 20 years","name":"Gay weddings pioneer legally marries partner of 20 years","description":"Gay weddings pioneer legally marries partner of 20 years","datePublished":"2013-11-13","dateModified":"2021-06-30","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/kpalladino\/#Person","name":"Kirsten Palladino","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/kpalladino\/","identifier":2,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/76421eab241dc39d43a493849d7bc676e4b1c60c6b1167f727466599b6882eca?s=96&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/76421eab241dc39d43a493849d7bc676e4b1c60c6b1167f727466599b6882eca?s=96&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Equally Wed","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/kathryn-hamm-amy-walter-dc-wedding-carly-fuller-2.jpg","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/kathryn-hamm-amy-walter-dc-wedding-carly-fuller-2.jpg","height":533,"width":800},"url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/kathryn-amy-gay-weddings-pioneer-legally-marries-her-partner-of-20-years\/","about":["Real LGBTQ+ Weddings"],"wordCount":918,"keywords":[" courthouse wedding"," legal wedding"," lesbian wedding"," Maryland","Amy Walter","gay wedding","Kathryn Hamm","Washington D.C."],"articleBody":"Gay weddings pioneer legally marries partner of 20 years Moms Amy and Kathryn legally wed in a City Hall wedding in Washington, D.C. after 20 years togetherKathryn Hamm, owner of gayweddings.com and coauthor of Capturing Love: The Art of Lesbian and Gay Wedding Photography, and Amy Walter, political analyst and national editor of The Cook Political Report, married on November 2, 2013, in Washington, D.C. after a 20-year partnership.Kathryn and Amy first married on Labor Day Weekend in 1999, but now they\u2019re finally able to pull in some of the legal benefits of marriage now that they\u2019ve legally wed with a second wedding.Their 2013 wedding was a way for them to achieve more legal benefits. \u201cTo me, marriage is a civil right,\u201d says Kathryn. \u201cIt\u2019s a set of government-sanctioned benefits. But, being married to someone\u2014or committed to someone\u2014is a lifelong investment of work and love. Amy and I had our wedding in 1999 and that was when we made our promises to one another and I have honestly felt \u201cmarried\u201d to her since then. We wouldn\u2019t have had another ceremony had it not have been something we needed to do in order to get the legal benefits, which, I might add, are still only partial benefits for us since our home state\u2014Virginia\u2014does not recognize our marriage.\u201dWhile their first wedding held more traditional trappings of a wedding, their second was much more relaxed. \u201cWe felt strongly that this was more of a punctuation mark and a legal necessity, not the wedding. That, we feel strongly, happened back in \u201899. We would have had one aisle in a garden ceremony but Hurricane Dennis drove us inside. We did have a friend trumpet us with humor down the aisle as we were escorted by our siblings\u2014she played two rounds of \u201cHere Comes the Bride\u201d with a big pause between the two. As favors then, we did offer personalized water bottles for our Bride Ride, a bike ride, and croquet tournament. We didn\u2019t have bouquets, cake or a traditional first dance. Basically, we only did what we thought felt right to us as a meaningful ritual for our commitment and celebration. So we avoided most wedding traditions unless we saw a meaning in it or an opportunity for humor.\u201d For the first wedding, the brides wore dresses and slacks and sweaters for the legal marriage. \u201cI liked to call our most recent style, \u2018courthouse casual!\u2019\u201dFor their 2013 marriage, Kathryn asked a friend of hers from college, who also is a judge for the D.C. Superior Court, to officiate. \u201cWe did it on a Saturday morning at the courthouse and then walked a few blocks for a delicious barbecue lunch. [\u2026] I think Amy summarized it best during a toast. For our legal marriage ceremony, there were more wrinkles, more gray hair and more kids!\u201dPerhaps most touching is the way Kathryn and Amy incorporated their son, Caleb, 7, into their wedding. \u201cWe added in a sand ceremony to reflect our commitment as a forever family since our son was too young to remember his adoption ceremony. It was really powerful and, call it a mother\u2019s intuition, but I get the sense that something internally shifted in him as he understood our commitment as a family and his role in it in a new way.\u201dWhat Kathryn loves most about Amy:I love Amy\u2019s sense of humor, kindness, willingness, playfulness and wisdom. She is a perfect foil for me. And, I think that perhaps my most favorite thing about her of late is watching her parent our son. It\u2019s a joy to experience that side of her!Amy on marriage\u2014with or without the legal trappings:\u201cOur friend Renee said it best: \u2018Marriage is about loving and serving each other and always putting the other person first. This doesn’t mean losing yourself and your individuality. Instead, by putting the needs of your partner first, you actually bring out the best in yourself.\u2019\u201dKathryn\u2019s advice to other couples:\u201cI suppose that advice might be different whether one is planning a first wedding or a legal elopement. Even so, the basic advice I offer to anyone, of any age and of any sexual orientation who is getting hitched is to be thoughtful about the kind of ceremony you want to have and then build a ritual that is meaningful to you. It\u2019s your day so you should be doing what you want to do and inviting the people you want to invite. And, finally, I would say that I do feel that it\u2019s important for same-sex couples to have a ceremony\u2014legal or non-legal \/ large or small\u2014especially if they are of my age cohort or older. The validation of the experience and the power of the moment are both incredibly healing and powerful. It\u2019s worth every bit of investment you\u2019ll make along the way!\u201dWhat Amy loves most about Kathryn:\u201cI love how willing Kathryn is to put her heart on her sleeve. She fights for what she believes in, even when she knows that she could be deeply disappointed and hurt. And, even then, she never stops believing that she will be able to make a difference.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 WEDDING VENDORSPhotographer:\u00a0Carly Fuller PhotographyDay-of Wedding Coordinator: Ruby KingReception:\u00a0Hill Country BBQ Transportation:\u00a0Wheel The People pedicabOfficiant: The Honorable Marisa DemeoInvitations:\u00a0Paperless PostFind more equality-minded wedding vendors in our\u00a0Local Resources Marketplace."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Gay weddings pioneer legally marries partner of 20 years","item":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/kathryn-amy-gay-weddings-pioneer-legally-marries-her-partner-of-20-years\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]