[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/take-charge\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/take-charge\/","headline":"Take Charge!","name":"Take Charge!","description":"Take Charge! Celebrity wedding planner Samantha Goldberg tells you how to look fabulous, show respect to your partner, and take shit from no one By...","datePublished":"2010-12-20","dateModified":"2021-06-21","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/admin\/#Person","name":"Equally Wed","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/author\/admin\/","identifier":787,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca62cf123aaaf135c80b055249bacbda79de9226e11cdfcde6529bedf89683de?s=96&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Equally Wed","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","url":"http:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/equally-wed-lgbtq-weddings-logo.jpg","width":218,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/gay-weddings-winter-take-charge-samantha-goldberg.jpg","url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/gay-weddings-winter-take-charge-samantha-goldberg.jpg","height":300,"width":202},"url":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/take-charge\/","about":["Planning"],"wordCount":1575,"articleBody":" Take Charge!  Celebrity wedding planner Samantha Goldberg tells you how to look fabulous, show respect to your partner, and take shit from no one By Patti Zielinski For the past two decades, celebrity wedding planner Samantha Goldberg has been orchestrating couples\u2019 dream nuptials\u2014with the sophisticated iron grit of an air traffic controller in stilettos. As the go-to planner for Broadway\u2019s glitziest same-sex marriages, Samantha reports that gay couples are increasingly turning to professionals like herself to make their ceremony an affair to remember. In an Equally Wed exclusive, this straight-talking star of the Style Network\u2019s \u201cWhose Wedding is it Anyway\u201d dishes on ways that same-sex couples can rethink tired traditions and capitalize on this spring\u2019s hottest trends. Samantha Goldberg, Courtesy of Samantha GoldbergEqually Wed: Samantha, what is the most important consideration a couple planning their marriage should have? Samantha Goldberg: Couples must have what we call \u201cthe trust factor.\u201d In a recent statistic, 20 percent of all weddings are cancelled within 18 months\u2014the average time it is taking people to tie the knot today. The No. 1 reason for divorce is lack of communication. That\u2019s a downer, but it\u2019s true. \u201cThe trust factor\u201d is a give-and-take. To trust someone is one thing. To not allow them to express themselves is a control issue. As a planner, I\u2019m starting to see more partners allowing their spouses to pick out elements of the wedding that are most important to them. You can do this by starting with a wish list that contains all the things each of you absolutely must have in the wedding to make you happy. Then, make a second list of what you each want, but if it doesn\u2019t happen, you\u2019d be OK. For example, if your partner wants to pick out the wedding cake, let her! If she wants a topsy-turvy cake and your wedding is super-mod, let her still have the cake. Remember, your wedding is a collaborative process. Planning your wedding takes good organization, good communication and remembering why you\u2019re doing it. If you forget any of these things, it will not work in your favor. EW: And you say couples are taking boosting the channels of communication seriously.SG: Yes! Going to therapy before getting married is huge now. It\u2019s similar to the Catholic church\u2019s pre-Cana, which works great for those are affiliated with a church. Since a lot of churches are not open to same-sex couples, you can find a counselor who will guide you in the same way. And just because you\u2019re gay doesn\u2019t mean you have to go with a gay counselor\u2014go with whoever you feel most comfortable with. You might find a hetrosexual counselor works best for you. EW: Let\u2019s talk style. What the women\u2019s fashion trends for the spring that you\u2019re seeing now?SG: With my gay clients, the trend is whatever the couple chooses it to be because they don\u2019t give a shit about what anyone else has to say. They\u2019re like, \u201cIt\u2019s my wedding. I can do what I like. Screw you.\u201d White for a same-sex couple is not as prevalent as in years ago. Also, both brides don\u2019t want to wear dresses. Some of my same-sex brides are more masculine and want to wear a suit. At Ellen and Portia\u2019s wedding, Ellen wore a suit\u2014and looked gorgeous. She has an amazingly beautiful face and eyes, and she\u2019s very fashion-savvy.Courtesy of Lara Porzak My clients also like the diversity of using color. So if two women are getting married and one of them is \u201ctuxedo-type,\u201d she would pull a color from her partner\u2019s bouquet in elements like a boutonniere. Couples want to be a part of each other\u2019s style. Vintage is very hot right now. As are feathers\u2014they\u2019re coming back, yes! One of my favorites is peacock feathers, which are very mod. The color combination is very cool: You\u2019ve got your blues, you\u2019ve got your browns, you\u2019ve got your blacks. Feathers can be worked in so many ways that are not flamboyant. We\u2019re seeing feathers on everything from dresses to purses to centerpieces.Courtesy of Nelson WadeEW: What do you see for men\u2019s styles?SG: Guys are going back to wearing suits\u2014we\u2019re not talking tuxes anymore! And bowties are back, which I\u2019m psyched about. In one wedding I just planned, the groom\u2019s tie matched the bridesmaids\u2019 gowns. The colors were burgundy, silver and white, so his bowtie had stripes of burgundy, silver and white. It was very cool.EW: What is cutting-edge style for the wedding party?SG: I\u2019m seeing girls wearing the same color dress but with different styles. This really works because everyone has different style bodies\u2014someone who is big-busted should not be wearing a strapless dress. The colors this year are a lot brighter, too. Think hot pink and a black sash. We\u2019re wrapping sashes around the waist to differentiate the colors of the wedding.       Courtesy of Mon Cheri BridalsAnd when it comes to colors, we\u2019re not in the \u201980s anymore\u2014the dresses do not match the tables.EW: Tell our couples one under-the-radar piece of advice that they are hardly ever told.SG: Getting wedding insurance is a smart move. This is a subject that\u2019s not often discussed but you should be aware of. Start by looking at your homeowner\u2019s insurance\u2014many will be covered under that and a lot of people don\u2019t know about that. You\u2019ll spend an extra $300 to $500 to have wedding insurance added. However, know that some wedding insurance companies are reliable, but some are not. Do your homework. EW: Give us your secret to getting a dream wedding on a budget.SG: The average wedding takes nine to 12 months to plan. I\u2019d love for people to plan six to nine months. You have more negotiation abilities. The less amount of time you have, the less amount of time you have to analyze, and the better deals you\u2019ll receive in any category. I recently did a wedding for an NFL player, who planned his wedding in four months. I saved the couple $100 off per person at the Venetian. There are places that book three years in advance, yes, but you\u2019d be shocked at how many popular venues will have prime openings like a Saturday night four months out and you can work out a deal. If you\u2019re flexible on your date\u2014especially during the most popular months of May, June, September and October\u2014and if it doesn\u2019t have to be a Saturday night, you\u2019re more likely to get exactly what you want. It just may not be on a month or day you want it. I don\u2019t know why couples can\u2019t be more flexible. EW: Many of our readers live together and have already created their home. Does this mean they have to ditch a registry?SG: Absolutely not! Registry items are a lot different today from the times when a couple were meant to move in together when they got married and since they didn\u2019t have anything, they registered for toasters and blenders. Today\u2019s couples are registering for things like honeymoons. For example, you can register at Liberty Travel. Liberty Travel would then send a gift card to you stating that this gift was given to you by Aunt Sarah and Uncle Mark toward the \u201choneymoon of your dreams\u201d package. It won\u2019t say how much, so it\u2019s a secretive amount. From luggage to plane tickets\u2014people can put together the trip of their dreams with the help of their guests.Here\u2019s another interesting trend that started with Commerce Bank a couple of years ago: Guests can start a down payment fund where guests can make deposits to come up with the first down payment on a new home. You will get a monthly ledger that tells you the deposits that were made and who made them. Another area that is beginning to blossom is registering with the vendors you cannot afford. Perhaps that\u2019s a graphite book from their photographer. Or a special video package with better video editing. You can register with your videographer. You want to register for items that will be part of your home that you\u2019ll be able to use long-term\u2014tangible items, not things like flowers or music. EW: Finally, how do you help couples calm their nerves right before the Big Day?SG: The weeks leading up to The Day could be a disaster if the couple is not calm. It\u2019s important for them to have a checklist and make copies of it and highlight all the things they\u2019ve done. This will help them look at all the things they\u2019ve accomplished over all the things they have to do. There\u2019s something about that yellow highlighter that tends to calm people down. It says, \u201cIt\u2019s done; it\u2019s finished!\u201d If you feel that too many people are giving their advice, you stay away from them. If they\u2019re giving advice, all you need to do is say, \u201cThank you, I\u2019ll consider it,\u201d and then the subject is over. It might sound harsh, but if they won\u2019t drop the subject, just leave."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Take Charge!","item":"https:\/\/equallywed.com\/take-charge\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]