Q I live in Florida, where same-sex marriage is not yet legally recognized. But my girlfriend and I are planning a wedding here anyways. Our families are being fairly supportive, but my mother is telling me I can’t put the words “wedding” or “marriage” on our invitation, but instead, she tells me I need to use the words “commitment ceremony” and “partnership.” I’m not partnering my girlfriend though—I’m marrying her! What should I do?
A This is one of those issues that gets me more fired up than a pig at a Hawaiian luau. A wedding is a wedding, no matter the gender of the individuals getting married. You should absolutely, unequivocally use the words that you want to use on your wedding invitation, which ought to include “wedding” and “marriage.” Whether your mother is just living in the Dark Ages or she’s scared of what people might think when they receive your wedding invitation is not the issue here. The problem is that she doesn’t mind you having a public celebration of your commitment to each other, but she doesn’t want to share her traditions and rights with you. Ask her if she’d like you to drink from a separate water fountain, too, and see if she doesn’t then understand the type of discrimination she’s trying to enforce on you.
Kirsten Ott Palladino is the editor-in-chief and cofounder of Equally Wed, the nation’s premier online magazine for gay and lesbian weddings and honeymoons. Follow her @kirs10palladino and subscribe to her newsfeed on Facebook.
