Today Amanda Hilty and Loraine Allen, residents of Madison County, N.C., will request a marriage license at the Madison County Register of Deeds’ office as part of the WE DO Campaign. Together for 13 years, Amanda and Loraine are seeking a marriage license because they wish to have their relationship recognized by their community and government. They will ask the Madison County Register of Deeds office to issue a license in recognition of their fundamental right to marry.
North Carolina has an explicit ban against gay and lesbians being allowed to legally marry, thanks to Amendment One, which passed in May 2012, and amended the state’s constitution to read, “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this state.”
Send Amanda and Loraine a message of support.
Here’s their letter to the Madison County Register of Deeds.
Dear Honorable Susan Rector,
My partner and I are residents of Madison County. She was born and raised in western North Carolina. I have lived here for over 15 years. Since moving to Marshall we have grown to love this community and this town. We are a same sex couple and have been in a loving commited relationship for over 13 years. I am writing to inquire whether you would grant us a marriage license if we came to your office to apply in person? We are planning to come in and apply for a license on Wednesday, August 21st in the late afternoon.
Loraine and Amanda
We want to get married for the same reasons as any other couple. We love each other. There is no greater commitment two can make than promise of marriage. Recently, there has been a lot of talk about benefits associated with marriage and the lack of protections for same-sex couples and families. Some families have been/ would be profoundly impacted by the ability to access those rights. However I, along with most others (yourself included I assume) don’t think of benefits when they think of marriage. Instead words like love, trust, devotion, happiness, support, joy, companionship, soul mate, best friend, weak in the knees, butterfly tummies, and a lifetime commitment to grow old together come to mind. These are the kinds of words associated with marriage, wife or husband. These are the words I associate with my partner, Loraine. Domestic partner, girlfriend, life partner, life companion, none of these terms so clearly defines our relationship as the term wife.
I believe the same God that created you, also created me, and everyone else in this world. Being gay is not a choice. God doesn’t make mistakes. Everytime we are discriminated against a clear message is sent that our ability to love is not as valued or authentic as a heterosexuals love. I ask, does your heart have a greater capacity to love than mine? Does your heart love better, truer? Think about it. I hope your answers are no. Then ask yourself, why should the love in one heart carry greater importance than the love in anothers heart? I have yet to find a justifed answer. There should be no difference.
It is a tough postion to be in, going against values one has been brought up with, or against friends and family, against community, or even the laws set forth by government. It is a scary postion to do what you know in your heart to be right. To be true to oneself. It is what a queer person does every day of their life. Wondering if they are their true self will they be fired from their job, evicted, shunned by their family and friends, or something even worse. We are not protected from these things. But you can help us. I ask you to please stand with us for just one day, for just one moment. Stand with us in fear and uncertainty. Stand with us, having compassion for the heart. Stand with us in love. Stand with us for equality. And stand against the laws that say we are not equal.
It may seem that your “hands are tied” in this issue because you have taken an oath to uphold the laws of this state. Maybe you believe it is not in your authority to challenge these laws. But, you have the choice and the power to do so. It is in your authority. I recognize that the laws of North Carolina prohibit same-sex marriage, but I believe this law is unconstitutional. You may already be familiar with a recent development in Pennsylvania in which a Register of Wills, Mr. Bruce Hanes, began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in his county. Pennsylvania has a ban similar to our state’s, but Mr. Hanes believes it to be in violation of basic principles of the state and federal constitutions and thus an unjust law. As of today, the licenses he has issued to same-sex couples have not been challenged and he continues to hold office as Register of Wills. (More information is available here.) Elected officials took similar positions in California and New York, prior to marriage laws changing in those states.Please consider your options.
I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Amanda Hilty
