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Q I’d love to have a father/daughter dance at my wedding, but my new stepmom has completely poisoned my dad’s view on gay marriage, as well as my relationship with Heather, my fiancée. So unfortunately, he’s not coming to the wedding. As much as this breaks my heart, I know I can’t do anything to change his mind. But my lovely wife-to-be does have a great dad who’s coming to the wedding. She’s offered to not do the traditional father/daughter dance, out of respect for me and my situation. But I want her to do it for herself. What do you think? Is it odd for one bride to do the father/daughter dance, and the other to not? |
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A I’m so sorry about your dad. I know that must really hurt. Not knowing the timeline of your wedding, there may still be time to resolve your problems with him and possibly have him attend the wedding, sans the wicked stepmother, of course. If he doesn’t show, I do think that Heather and her father deserve that special dance, if they want it for themselves. (Many couples have done away with this tradition all together, and hardly anyone except for stuffy Aunt Marge even notices.) Encourage your wife-to-be to embrace this wedding as her own, as well as for both of you. A wedding is a time to strengthen the bonds with the family who love us, and a father/daughter dance is a very special way to demonstrate a proud father’s sincere love and support for his daughter and the woman she’s married. You’re very lucky to be marrying into a family who cares so much for their daughter. Congrats to you both.
Kirsten Ott Palladino is the co-founder and editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s leading gay and lesbian wedding and honeymoon magazine. Follow her on Twitter. Connect with her on Facebook. Write her with your gay wedding questions. If she can’t answer it, she’ll find another expert who can! |
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