Q We are getting married next April in New Orleans, and though we are not a same-sex couple, we are strong advocates for LGBT rights. The bride’s mom and partner are lesbians, her brother is gay, and the groom’s sister is a lesbian, too.

The fight for marriage equality is very important to us, and we were wondering how we could be inclusive in our wedding process. We are thinking about linking to a marriage equality group from our wedding website, but we’re also looking for other ideas. Any suggestions?

A What a lucky family you have that you’re choosing to honor and celebrate them on a day about you. I’m so glad you asked this question, because it’s one that a lot of our straight allies ask me about outside of this column. One of the best and most influential things you can do is have something meaningful and related to marriage equality in your readings. 

A popular choice is the ruling from in the 2003 case of Goodridge v. Department of Public Health in Massachusetts, when the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decided that same-sex marriages would be legally recognized in the state of Massachusetts. The writings of Chief Justice Margaret Marshall make quite an effect when read at a wedding:

“Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. 

“Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.” 

To support the fight for marriage equality with a financial contribution, register at HRC’s wedding registry, which allows your guests to donate to the Human Rights Campaign in you and your beloved’s honor. The fun doesn’t stop there. Show your pride with your wedding favors, too. White Knot, a nonprofit organization fighting for marriage equality, offers a White Knot kit for $25, which has supplies for 300 White Knots. Gather your attendants and family to assemble these small white ribbons for your guests to wear at your wedding. An usher can hand them out in a basket with a small explanation prior to your ceremony, or you can have them out by the guest book at your reception with a sign that reads, “Everyone should have the right to tie the knot. Please join us in the fight for marriage equality by wearing this pin at our wedding.”

 

Kirsten Ott Palladino is the co-founder and editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s leading gay and lesbian wedding and honeymoon magazine. Follow her on Twitter. Connect with her on Facebook. Write her with your gay wedding questions. If she can’t answer it, she’ll find another expert who can!