Zach Wahls: Fighting for Family and Equality
Marriage equality advocate Zach Wahls, who became a YouTube sensation for his speech during a 2011 Iowa House Judiciary Committee, talks to Equally Wed about the importance of family and his latest accomplishment: his first book.
Sixth-generation Iowan Zach Wahls’ love of his moms, Jacqueline “Short Mom” Reger and Dr. Terry “Tall Mom” Wahls, spurred him to defend gays and lesbians’ right to marry during a Jan. 2011 Iowa House Judiciary Committee speech when he urged lawmakers not to approve House Resolution 6, which would constitutionally ban same-sex marriage in the state of Iowa where it is currently legally recognized.
L-R: Jacqueline Reger, Zach Wahls, Zebby Wahls and Dr. Terry Wahls
“You are voting for the first time in the history of our state to codify discrimination into our constitution,” the then 19-year-old student said in an articulated manner well beyond his years.
Despite his impassioned speech (photo below, right), House members voted 62-37 to approve it in Feb. 2011 and currently, Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, a Democrat, is the one standing in the way of the decision coming to the 2013 ballot, vowing to block the legislation from reaching the Senate floor.
His speech became an instant YouTube sensation turning him into a marriage-equality icon but the environmental engineering student remains humble and takes the scrutiny in stride. Wahls acknowledges he doesn’t personify perfection. Thus, he’s not pressuring himself to perpetrate a particular persona.
“Even our role models don’t always set the best example,” Wahls tells us in an exclusive interview. “I think, given this public context, it’s made me even more aware of the effects our everyday actions can have on the people around us.”
His marriage-equality crusade snagged him appearances on several television shows such as Ellen and Late Show with David Letterman, plus a book deal. My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family , published by Penguin Books, is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes or independent booksellers, and is a deeply personal testament to the power of family in all forms.
However, he credits his mothers, Jackie and Terry, with instilling the best values in him. To them, he’s not a marriage-equality icon or YouTube star—he’s just Zach, their great son. While they’re definitely pleased with his dedication to marriage equality, his two moms would have been OK with one simple achievement:
“They’re both very, very proud. My mom, Terry, joked at one point that she would have been happy with me coming home once a week for dinner–I didn’t have to write a book about them,” Wahls says with a laugh. “My thought process was that if there could be such a tremendous impact from a short, three minute video, there would be a lot of potential in an entire book.”
Despite that realization, Wahls admits he needed some encouragement to write the book. Of course, after careful consideration, putting fingers to the keyboard was the right thing to do. When turning the pages, he hopes readers get one message: “Love—like the people who feel it—doesn’t fit into neat little boxes.”
“It’s complicated and messy and sometimes it’s even painful, but if the love and commitment are true, it’s always—always—worth the fight,” he adds.
Wahls reflected on the importance of speaking out and the irony of Iowa lawmakers, elected to protect citizens and their rights, taking them away. A succession of gay suicides, beginning with Rutgers student Tyler Clementi, provided a dark backdrop.
“It was a scary moment, a scary time for families like mine all across the country. In a very real way, it felt like we were back against the wall, in a corner,” Wahls says.
“Families like mine,” according to Wahls, are no different than anyone else’s family. It’s a reality with which he never struggled. Despite the Right Wing mantra, Wahls never once felt deprived. “There was really no moment where I realized, ‘Woah, I’m different!’ or ever ran home to my moms, wondering where Daddy was.”
Defending his family, which includes his sister, Zebby, outweighed worrying about being different. People tried convincing Wahls that he was a child abuse victim, had been brainwashed, or was just beneath them.
“[They said] I was somehow worth less than other children simply because I had two moms,” he explains.
Of course, according to some circles, he wasn’t part of a “traditional family”—what anti-gay forces have decreed is a “real” family. Standing strong, he doesn’t give such conclusions much credence. As Wahls points out, families don’t always have control over whether they remain “traditional.” Adoption, death and divorce shape families in so many ways.
“A family isn’t a straight, legally married WASP couple with two and a half kids, a dog and a white picket fence. A family is a group of people who love each other. Period.”
Love is one reason that securing marriage equality, Wahls says, is essential. Breaking down stereotypes is another.
“Marriage is so important—and so hard to win—simply because of its symbolic importance. Nothing says ‘we’re in love’ in such a public, widely-recognized way as marriage,” he says. “Having full recognition of marriage goes a long way towards normalizing and correcting perceptions of LGBT people in this country.”
Photos: zachwahls.com
