Bridezilla? Who? Me? Of course, most brides want to avoid being high-maintenance. But with all the pressure of planning a wedding, you’re bound to take some of it out on your bridesmaids or simply let things fall through the cracks. In order to be the best bride and friend you can be, we asked former bridesmaids to share their subtle — and sometimes obvious — wedding pet peeves. Here are eight things you didn’t realize were annoying your bridesmaids, plus practical tips for avoiding these mistakes.

Expecting All Your Bridesmaids to Be BFFs Automatically
Why it’s annoying: Chances are many of your bridesmaids have never met. When you throw together strangers with various personalities sans any introduction, awkward email chains and bridesmaids tiffs can result about anything from the trivial bachelorette party favors to the important wedding speeches.
How to avoid it: Once you select your bridal party, get everyone together for a casual, low-pressure brunch to break the ice. If you can’t get people together in person, then start an email chain introducing everyone and offering some context for how you know each person and what she’s all about. It will help break down the initial uncomfortableness and help your best friends understand why each other is important to you.

Pretending the Bridesmaids’ Dresses Can Be Worn Again
Why it’s annoying: They’ve heard it before. You might think your style is classic and universally flattering, but chances are they won’t be wearing that dress again. Suggesting otherwise will just make them roll their eyes.
How to avoid it: Instead of implying you’re doing them a favor by picking a dress they can wear again, simply thank them for participating in your big day and wearing a dress you absolutely love. If you do want to increase the chances they will in fact reuse the dress, then go with a black dress or perhaps pick a color theme and let them choose the dress they like in that color.

Having Multiple Expensive Events
Why it’s annoying: Asking your bridesmaids to pay for multiple flights, hotels, and activities on top of a pricey bridesmaid dress, shoes, and jewelry is asking them to resent you.
How to avoid it: If you’re having a destination wedding, then opt for a local bachelorette weekend. Also, suggest single bridesmaids go in on a room or rental car together. And make some things optional, like the hair and makeup, pre-wedding mani/pedis, or spa treatments during the bachelorette party. Meanwhile, be aware if one bridesmaid bears more of the burden than others. If she lives out of town, for example, give her a pass on coming to a shower or other parties.

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Photo: Braedon Flynn Photography via Style Me Pretty