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Q My brother and his wife, Sally, were married for 12 years and have two gorgeous children together, ages 5 and 7. They divorced three years ago, but his ex-wife stayed in good with our mom—even though she (Sally) treated my brother like sh*t. I want the kids to be in my upcoming wedding, and my mom thinks we also need to invite Sally, because she’s “still a part of this family” and “she’s the mother of my grandchildren.” Sigh. I know my brother would be hurt. What do I do? |
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A Weddings are, at the core, about family: bringing families together as well as creating a new family. When making out your guest list and sending invitations, you should do two things: 1) Respect marriage, meaning you should invite your relatives’ spouses to honor their choices of who they chose to spend the rest of their lives with. 2) Respect divorce. Your brother and Sally chose to end their relationship, severing her relationship with his family. Respect his wishes and choices, and don’t invite her. If your mother wants to continue to hurt your brother and be chummy with the ex, they can socialize on their own time—not at your wedding. Kirsten Ott Palladino is the co-founder and editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s leading gay and lesbian wedding and honeymoon magazine. Follow her on Twitter. Connect with her on Facebook. Write her with your gay wedding questions. If she can’t answer it, she’ll find another expert who can! |
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