Who walks down the aisle, who waits at the altar, does it matter if you’re in a suit or a dress? What’s correct for our gay wedding?
Who walks down the aisle, who waits at the altar, does it matter if you’re in a suit or a dress? What’s correct for our gay wedding? For background, both my fiancée and I are wearing simple white wedding dresses. Neither of us are particularly butch or femme.
Jenny M.
Dear Jenny,
The beauty of gay weddings—well, there’s much that’s beautiful about our weddings—but at the core of planning one is that it is a celebration of love and a lifetime commitment between two consenting adults. It is not a straight wedding, yet we can look to the history of their weddings for traditions we want to keep and, similarly, things we’re not interested in claiming as our own. That being said, how you approach the altar is up to you. I’ve seen lesbian brides walk up holding hands.
In our Real Weddings section, we feature two butch brides, Stephanie and Julie, who walked up separately with their fathers. We also showcase Jonathan and Steve, two grooms who walked up the aisle together hand in hand. For my own wedding, Maria, who’s totally masculine and loves the traditional stuff as I do, wanted to wait at the altar for me in her white suit. And that allowed me to shine as the bride. The point is all our weddings are perfect because we’re doing what is most comfortable for us—and you should, too. Whether you’re in a gown, a suit or a grass skirt and a lei at an island-themed destination wedding. Do what feels right, and it’ll all come together naturally. Plus, when you’re at ease, the guests will be at ease.
Kirsten Ott Palladino is the co-founder and editor in chief ofEqually Wed, an award-winning wedding and honeymoon magazine for gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, queer and allied couples. Follow Kirsten on Twitter. Connect with her on Facebook.Write herwith your gay wedding questions. If she can’t answer it, she’ll find another expert who can!
