Reader Question: I’m hoping to propose to my girlfriend within the next year or so and I really want to have a father/daughter dance with my dad. I already have the perfect song and everything, but my girlfriend hasn’t come out to her family and doesn’t really have any intention to. I understand completely, having met her family and heard some of the remarks they make daily about gay people, but it’s hard because she’s already kind of accepted that they won’t be there. We’ve talked about marriage and she’s said that she’d be ok with dancing with her best friend but I don’t really want to have a father/daughter dance if the love of my life can’t. What should I do?
Editor’s Answer: Weddings are a time to celebrate with the people you love, so it’s especially painful when your family isn’t willing to embrace it. The father/daughter dance is seemingly a dying tradition, for both straight and same-sex weddings, so if you opt out, no one is likely to take notice. However, it sounds like your girlfriend wants you to be happy, and doesn’t want her family’s reaction to spoil a special moment with your father. If her relationship with her best friend is something that she wants to spotlight for the wedding, then she absolutely should dance with them, but doing so just to balance it out might be awkward. I’d say dance with your dad for a few minutes and then invite others onto the dance floor (your girlfriend and her friend, as well as the rest of the guests). This will help it naturally flow into the dancing portion of the evening, and keep guests from gossiping.
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Photo: Real Wedding Nicki and Carolyn, photography by Robert Godridge Photography
