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This spring, Prince William shocked the world when he married Kate Middleton without a wedding band. With his recent tour to North America, we’ve seen that still no band has shown up. No reason was ever given for why Prince William skipped the ring, but the press noted that his father, Prince Phillip, did not wear one when he wed Princess Diana, either.

Skipping the band, then, might be the latest trend for grooms. For gay couples, the concept of engagement rings can be confusing. Do both receive them? And if so, does that mean the engagement can’t be a surprise? And after the wedding, can gay men follow in the tradition and continue to wear the engagement ring with the wedding band?

Clearly, there’s a lot to think about, but ultimately it’s up to the couple. Don’t be tied down to tradition—you don’t need to declare an engagement with a band. To keep things simple, go at it Prince William style through the engagement, and save the bands for the big day.

Photo: Courtesy of the Royal Family