A lesbian mom’s love letter to their known sperm donor on Father’s Day 

To our donor on Father’s Day

In the week leading up to this day I had many people ask if and how we would celebrate this day. To our friends, colleagues, and extended family members, our situation is a unique one. We’re two lesbian mamas with and the selfless man who helped us have a fantastically happy, loving, chunky baby. We all know and adore each other. We all spend time together. “Isn’t that a little complicated?” they all ask. No, in fact it’s quite beautiful and fun.

Leading up to the birth of our daughter with a known donor, everyone was so concerned with what we would call you and what your role would be. Would you have any involvement and what would you be called? We’ve joked about several silly nicknames but never settled on anything because labels seemed so trivial. But as I reflect on our last five months navigating our modern family together, you have embodied everything that is worthy of what this Father’s Day is all about.

You’ve been by our side throughout the whole fertility process. You cried with us when we suffered through a miscarriage. You were the only person we celebrated our gender reveal with. You waited all those hours during a grueling labor and an emergency C-section. You even came to the hospital with cards for our parents and presents for us. You pause your incredibly busy life to make sure we see each other for dinner once a week. You attend every gathering we host. You are supportive. You are present. You love our daughter.

You are everything I knew you would be and somehow more. Not all fathers are worthy of this day, but you are. Thank you for helping us become mothers. I can’t imagine this journey without you. Happy Father’s Day.

_{Photos: top and bottom by Julia Franzosa; middle photos courtesy of the Paré family}