When a Tampa couple wrote a letter to Dear Abby, asking her for advice on how to “deal” with their gay neighbors, Abby delivered quite the reality check.
When a Tampa couple wrote a letter to Dear Abby, asking her for advice on how to “deal” with their gay neighbors, Abby delivered quite the reality check. The woman who wrote the letter (with a pen name of “Unhappy in Tampa”) described a scenario in which she and her husband—who had both recently relocated to Florida from a conservative town—had thrown a party, but they hadn’t invited their gay neighbors because they didn’t feel comfortable with their “lifestyle choices.”
When another neighbor threw a party at a later date, “Unhappy in Tampa” was surprised and saddened to see that she and her husband weren’t invited—and that they had subsequently been left out of other neighborhood social events. According to the woman, one of her neighbors even identified her and her husband as bigots, and she felt that this was entirely out of line and unfair:
… my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!
Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were “different,” they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase “when in Rome,” I don’t feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in?
Abby wanted to weigh in, and weigh in she did. With
I sure would. The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.” Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.
I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.
You tell ’em, Abby. Read the full letter here.
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