Notes to the Newlyweds: You Cannot Keep Score in Marriage

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Dear Newlyweds,

Sarah is my wife, best friend and the love of my life, but that doesn’t mean our relationship is easy. When Sarah and I married we quickly realized a strong marriage takes patience, compromise and laughter. Here are some friendly words of advice…

You cannot keep score in marriage. The work, time or effort the two of you put into things will never balance out perfectly. If you spend your time trying to keep score, you will only build resentment. Do things because you love your partner, not because you expect them to do something in return. There will be days you do more house chores than your partner, but who cares? Things need to be done and you are a team, so it doesn’t matter who does them, just that they get done.

It’s also very important for each of you to not lose yourself in the marriage. It’s hard not to get caught up in your relationship and start isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Don’t do it! You are going to make ”couple” friends and want to do things with them, but you also need to spend time with your individual friends, especially the ones you had before your marriage. Maintain your own hobbies and interests. It is important to have time apart and to have your own things to do without the other. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

Through the years, there will be good times and bad, but knowing you have a partner for life makes the bad a little more bearable. Never, ever go to bed angry and no matter what, always kiss each other good night. These three little words should be spoken at least once every day: “I love you.”

And last, but certainly not least, laughter is the best medicine! Try to laugh every day. It is good for the heart and burns calories! Better yet, try to make your partner laugh every day! Be silly, have fun, and be happy! Life is too short not to enjoy every minute.

XOXO,

Tennille 

Tennille and Sarah Walsh
Married on April 30, 2011 (Read their Real Wedding feature here.)
Together for 8 years

Been married for more than one year? Have some advice to share? Submit your note to newlyweds along with your hi-res wedding photo to editors@equallywed.com with NOTES TO THE NEWLYWEDS in the subject line.

Photo: Michael Winter, Winter Images 

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