Dear Mr. President,
Seventeen years ago, you signed a piece of legislation that was the lesser of two evils. I understand your thought process behind putting your John Hancock on the Defense of Marriage Act, which defined marriage as between one man and one woman. You kindly remind us in your recent op-ed piece in the Washington Post, that it was done so because it “would defuse a movement to enact a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, which would have ended the debate for a generation or more.” You did what you felt was best for the short-term strategy, ironically thinking you were signing on the side of the gay community.
Clearly, the LGBT civil rights movement has shifted much more swiftly than any of us could have dreamed two decades ago, and your continued dedication has played a significant role in this accomplishment. But we still have a long way to go, and that’s in part due to DOMA.
Actions may speak louder than words, but words also have the ability to heal, and with the damage that DOMA has done, an “I’m sorry” in your explanatory article would have done wonders. Gay and lesbian couples have paid taxes, worked hard, exchanged vows and started a family, yet they cannot file taxes together, receive surviving spouse and surviving parent benefits, or receive leave to care for their partner when they’re sick or injured. Your actions may have kept our country from heading toward a constitutional ban, but it also crippled the lives for millions of same-sex couples. You can’t justify discrimination with discrimination, even if it is less so. Not to mention, your focus on the success of DOMA while campaigning to social conservatives while you sought reelection makes me believe it was hardly signed with a clear conscience for the LGBT community.
I haven’t forgotten that your support over the last decade has been exponential in our fight, all I’m asking is that you recognize and apologize for the ramifications of your previous actions.
Sincerely,
Brittny Drye
