Do I Have to Invite Wedding Shower Guests to My Wedding?
I’m getting married in October (hooray!), and I am having a teeny tiny wedding with about 20 to 25 people on a very teeny tiny budget. We are going to have a party up north for family a few weeks after.
What’s the etiquette on showers? It feels weird to invite people to a shower who aren’t invited to the wedding, but my sister wants to throw one for me. Curious on your thoughts. — Callie
Congrats on your engagement! So here’s the thing about showers. They’re a lovely thing, and it is so sweet that your sister wants to throw you one. But shower guests are definitely wedding guests. All kinds of feelings can get hurt if you stray from this rule. Think about it this way: Oh, hey, do you want to come to a party and bring me a present? Here’s a list of items I would love! Oh, wait, you also want to come to my private, personal wedding reserved exclusively for the people I love most in the world? Sorry, you’re only good enough to give me a gift. Feels crummy, yeah? Don’t make those people feel crummy.
Good luck, let me know how it goes, and send me some shower and wedding pictures!
Kirsten Ott is the co-founder and editorial director of Equally Wed, the world’s leading gay, lesbian and allied wedding and honeymoon online magazine. Follow her on Twitter. Connect with her on Facebook. Write her with your gay wedding questions. If she can’t answer it, she’ll find another expert who can!
Kirsten Ott Palladino
HOT OFF THE PRESS
- Thai activists continue to fight for marriage equality after court rules against it
- Stunning adventure elopement at Oregon’s Mt. Hood
- Youtuber Cammie Scott proposes to girlfriend in epic ode to 10 Things I Hate About You
- 5 of our favorite LGBTQ celebrity engagements of 2021
- Romantic Zoom wedding eight years in the making
- Seaside South Carolina proposal on horseback
- Joyful intimate wedding outside Chicago with geometric arch and outfit change
- 5 epic LGBTQ+ wedding photos we are just so thankful exist
- Romantic Malibu engagement session by the beach
- Outdoor New Jersey wedding filled with love and sunflowers
- Bright and cheery sixties-inspired wedding ideas
- Breathtaking Sedona elopement surrounded by close friends and family
- Inclusivity in the wedding industry: faux allies, transphobia and performative actions
- Stunning and joyful elopement at Colorado’s Garden of the Gods
- “Same Love” singer Mary Lambert is engaged
- Autumn engagement session at the base of Nevada’s Mt. Charleston
- WNBA legend Renee Montgomery reveals she and music artist Sirena Grace got married
- Two stars of Amazon’s lesbian reality show, Tampa Baes, are engaged
- Rustic and modern October wedding in a Mississippi barn
- Intimate and enchanting wedding at a Pittsburgh flower garden