Do I Have to Invite Wedding Shower Guests to My Wedding?
I’m getting married in October (hooray!), and I am having a teeny tiny wedding with about 20 to 25 people on a very teeny tiny budget. We are going to have a party up north for family a few weeks after.
What’s the etiquette on showers? It feels weird to invite people to a shower who aren’t invited to the wedding, but my sister wants to throw one for me. Curious on your thoughts. — Callie
Congrats on your engagement! So here’s the thing about showers. They’re a lovely thing, and it is so sweet that your sister wants to throw you one. But shower guests are definitely wedding guests. All kinds of feelings can get hurt if you stray from this rule. Think about it this way: Oh, hey, do you want to come to a party and bring me a present? Here’s a list of items I would love! Oh, wait, you also want to come to my private, personal wedding reserved exclusively for the people I love most in the world? Sorry, you’re only good enough to give me a gift. Feels crummy, yeah? Don’t make those people feel crummy.
Good luck, let me know how it goes, and send me some shower and wedding pictures!
Kirsten Ott is the co-founder and editorial director of Equally Wed, the world’s leading gay, lesbian and allied wedding and honeymoon online magazine. Follow her on Twitter. Connect with her on Facebook. Write her with your gay wedding questions. If she can’t answer it, she’ll find another expert who can!