Weddings come with a long history of traditions, most of which are deeply rooted in cisgender and heterosexual norms. While no marrier has to adhere to these traditions, LGBTQ+ marriers have a special opportunity to ignore these norms and build a wedding that is completely personalized to them.
If you’re looking to shake up tradition, here are a few places to start:
1. Walk Down The Aisle Together
In the end, weddings are about two (or more!) people embarking on a new journey together, so if you’re not into the idea of being “given away” by your parents or family to your partner, why not walk down the aisle side by side? Doing so will symbolize you stepping together into this next phase of life as married spouses. Another LGBTQ+ wedding tradition is to enter the ceremony space on two separate aisles simultaneously.
2. Reinvent the Flower Girl
The traditional role of the flower girl is a great place to be creative. There is no rule saying the person scattering petals down the aisle has to be a little girl. Here, you could honor any special person in your life, from a grandparent to a friend. Some weddings even have moms as flower girls, and others don’t have flowers sprinkled at all. Instead of petals, this wedding used a “beer guy” to get the party started during the ceremony.
The same goes for the ring bearer—there are no rules!
3. Go Dress/Suit Shopping Together
Tradition may say that the marrier isn’t supposed to see what each other is wearing before the wedding, but if it sounds more fun to pick out your outfits together, then absolutely do it. Not only could it make for better pictures, as you can ensure your attire is perfectly coordinated, but it can also create lasting and special memories.
While you’re at it, remember that you can also get ready together on the day of the wedding, as some couples would rather not spend their entire wedding day apart.
4. Have All-Gender Wedding Parties
All-gender wedding parties are becoming increasingly popular. If you have best friends of all genders, there is no need to limit yourself in who you select to stand beside you. Those you care about most should be up there with you, no matter how they identify.
5. Have a Joint Wedding Shower
In traditional hetero- and gender-normative weddings, the shower is all about the bride. But whether or not you have one bride, two brides or no brides at all, both of you deserve to be showered in love! A joint shower can also be a great way for your close friends and relatives to meet one another before the big day.
6. Let Your Wedding Party Pick Their Outfits
Whether you give them a color scheme or let them pick absolutely anything, giving your wedding party freedom to choose what they wear is a great way to ensure everyone feels fully happy and confident throughout your wedding day. After all, requiring someone to wear a dress or suit could make them uncomfortable if what you’ve selected doesn’t align with their gender expression.
7. Hire a Drag Queen to Officiate
A drag queen officiant is a great way to bring a little extra pizzaz to your ceremony and also to make your wedding feel celebratory of the LGBTQ+ community. Many drag queen officiants can be found through a simple Google search.
8. Replace Your Floral Bouquet
If carrying flowers down the aisle doesn’t feel quite right, there are a thousand different materials you could use to create something beautiful to accent your outfit. From book pages to feathers to seashells, the possibilities are truly endless. Don’t limit yourself and find something that speaks to you.
And remember: Bouquets are for everyone!
