Numerous marriers, brides, grooms and brooms look back on their wedding days with warm hearts but fuzzy memories. With so much going on, hundreds of micro conversations, the details everywhere you look, and the rush of emotions, naturally it’ll be a blur to some extent. Even if your reception is scheduled for three to five hours, it will go by faster than you can imagine. Being present on your wedding day allows you to retain more memories and enjoy yourself even more. Here are 10 ways to be a mindful marrier.


1 / Before heading to the ceremony space, spend two to 10 minutes alone for a brief meditation.


2 / Set an intention to be purposefully mindful at both the ceremony and reception. Just calling your wish into existence places it at the center of your mind.


3 / If someone important to you is not attending, whether by choice, distance, illness or death, send out vibes of love, affection and forgiveness to them for their absence. It can absolutely hurt to marry without someone you’d always hoped would be there for you on your wedding day, and you deserve the chance to express that grief. Once you release those feelings, it will make it easier to carry that person in your heart during your wedding—and easier to focus on the people who are there for you.


4 / Take time to look into people’s eyes and connect with each of your guests.


5 / Let the staff do their jobs. Focus on enjoying your celebration instead of managing it.


6 / If you’re imbibing alcohol, drink a full glass of water in between beers, glasses of wine or cocktails. The alcohol isn’t going anywhere, and the more you drink, the less you’ll remember from your wonderful wedding.


7 / Steal some sweet time with your new spouse. With everyone rushing up to you to give you their best wishes, it can be easy to get separated at the party. Come back together as often as you can to reconnect.


8 / Tell a dear friend or even your planner or photographer that you want to stay present and ask them to remind you of any moments you hoped to have at your reception, such as dancing with an aging relative, or getting a photo of you with your oldest friend or just closing your eyes and concentrating on hearing the good energy.


9 / Every now and then, stop talking, take a deep breath, and look around you. Everyone you love has come to celebrate your happiness. Soak it in. Feel the love. Savor the present of being present.


10 / Sit down and eat something. Running around at your wedding can feel like you’re on a never-ending merry-go-round. That may be an awesome feeling, but then when it’s all over, it’s done. Sitting down and taking the time to eat will help you get stabilized in the moment.


Excerpted from Equally Wed: The Ultimate Guide to Planning Your LGBTQ+ Wedding by Kirsten Palladino, published by Seal Press, a Hachette Book Group company.