My best friend of 13 years recently got engaged. Of course she wants me to be her maid of honor … the only problem is that I’m an androgynous lesbian who wears men’s clothing. I don’t mind women’s slacks, though. What am I supposed to wear in/to this wedding!? I am so panicked! I’m certainly not wearing a dress!

Up until the last several years, brides dressed their ‘maids in clothing that is less than desirable. And, for the most part, we dealt with it, even if “it” is 70s-prom-lookalikes, with a smile. Thankfully, in modern day weddings, most brides give their wedding party a color and fabric, and let them choose a style of their choosing, and since we’re talking about your personal level of comfort that goes beyond aesthetics, it’s absolutely worth communicating your concern to the bride.

Depending on her wedding color palette, it may be difficult to find a pantsuit that is beyond the traditional black/white/gray. Alfred Angelo’s Special Occasion collection features mix-and-match pieces in 60 different colors, with a couple of wide leg dress pants options.


Depending on the formality of the wedding, a pair of crisp suit pants paired with a blouse in the bridesmaids’ color would be a stylish middle-ground option (J.Crew has excellent pants and blouse options that aren’t ultra femme). If it’s more formal, our advice would be to dress in similar attire as her groom’s side of the wedding party—suits with matching ties.


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