Writer’s block exists for everyone, myself included. Usually, it’s when we are writing something that we really just don’t feel like doing (i.e., research papers, final exams, etc.). I believe that writer’s block is a state of mind. It is your body telling you that maybe you just need a break. Maybe you need to go get a breath of fresh air, a fresh cup of coffee, or meditate for a few minutes. But when it comes to writing your vows, everything you need to know is already within you. It’s how you get it out of you—and that is where I come in.
OK, this may sound silly, but stick with me.
First, close your eyes and take a deep breath in and out. Repeat. Repeat again.
Now close your eyes and just think of the things that you love and adore about the person you are going to marry (I hope you’re smiling right now).
Now just start writing/typing it out. Recall your first date. Your first kiss. The first time you said I love you. When you knew he or she was “the one.” Picture in your head the proposal. Is there a funny story of your relationship? Inside jokes that the two of you share. What emotions come to mind?
Write them down and next to that—jot down what the occasion was. Maybe it was the first time he or she held your hand, or maybe it was just simply a Wednesday afternoon where you both slept in and played hooky and lounged in your sweatpants watching bad reruns all day. Regardless, special or random moments in your relationship will stand out to you and bring all of those feelings to the surface. The key is just getting blurbs down on paper.
Read everything that you just wrote aloud so you can hear how it sounds.
What jumps out at you? When you read each note out loud, were there certain instances that were just so easy to talk about—that it just flowed out of your mouth. You didn’t even have to really read what was on the paper, it just came out of you. There’s the winner. Find what invokes the most emotion within you and that is what you want to share. Those stories, those promises, those feelings that live within you, the ones that are always at the forefront of your mind; the images and thoughts that come to your mind when someone else says his or her name, that is what you write about. That is what you share to your love.
It really is simple. The answers already lie within you.
Genavieve Shingle is the founder of My Little Vow, a lesbian-owned wedding vow writing company.
Photo: iStock Photos