When I got engaged and started wedding planning, one of my first thoughts was, “Should I have my cane with me? How will I style it?” Like many people with disabilities, my mobility aid use fluctuates. I have a glittery lavender cane that I use when I’m in pain or need extra balance and stability.
When I decided that I do want to have my cane with me for at least part of my wedding—not only because there’s a lot of standing but also because I’m proud of my cane—I needed to figure out whether to dress it up or not.
Mobility aids like canes, wheelchairs, walkers and crutches are a necessity for many people with disabilities, but they can also be a huge part of our fashion sense. If you’re also wondering about how to style your mobility aid for a wedding (your own or someone else’s), here are some ideas.
Decide which mobility aid(s) you want to use.
Many people with disabilities and chronic illnesses have multiple mobility aids. Maybe you’ve got a manual wheelchair and an electric one, or several different canes. Your first step is choosing with mobility aid(s) you want during the wedding and what parts of the wedding you want to use them during.
I’m planning to use my cane for at least some of our wedding photos because I rarely get to see queer couples with mobility aids in photos and I want to be able to share my visibility with other disabled LGBTQ+ people. I might use it during the ceremony and vows because I’ll be standing for a while, and I’ll probably have it on hand during the dancing and cocktail hour part of the day.
You should think about the accessibility of the wedding space, any batteries your mobility aids might require, where you’ll store them while not in use, how you feel about them aesthetically (will your orange crutches clash with your blue dress?) and what aids will suit the day best depending on your needs.
Consider the tone of the wedding.
Is this a black tie wedding or a really casual one with no dress code? What will you be wearing? How colorful or neutral will the wedding colors be? You can take all of this into account when deciding exactly how to style your mobility aids.
Decorate your mobility aid with tulle, glitter or rhinestones.
It’s a wedding and especially if it’s your own, you can really go all out here. I attached a rainbow flag to my cane during Pride, which didn’t really impede using it at all. I plan to add some extra bling to my cane about a week before the wedding—stripes of glitter fabric are what I’m thinking since they’re durable and shiny enough to show up in photos.
If possible, avoid decorating your mobility aid with things that’ll be hard to take off later. Duct tape is colorful but notoriously hard to remove and can leave residue behind on your wheelchair or cane. If you only want your decorations to be part of your mobility aid for the wedding, be sure to secure them in an easy-to-remove way, by using pins, clips or elastics instead of glue and other adhesives.
Have fun with it.
It’s up to you how serious or silly you want to be, but you can hang a “just married” sign from the back of your wheelchair or wrap battery-powered lights around your wheels, cane or walker. I’m considering wearing a tiny top hat on our wedding day, which doesn’t technically count as decor for my cane unless you factor in the silly poses I’m going to do in photos—like pretending I’m a rich man from the 1800s with a monocle and a mustache. If you’re feeling really extra, it’s totally okay to buy a mobility aid or aid accessory just for the wedding, like a cane with a lion’s head on it. Why not, right?
Dress up your outfit instead of your mobility aid.
You could also opt not to get too decorative with your mobility aid, especially if your outfit is already a statement on its own. Whether your aid is neutral or colorful, you can style it exactly as you would any other day—and instead focus on your attire, hair and accessories.
I’m looking forward to all the creative ways I plan to style my cane when I get married. If you’re rocking your mobility aid in wedding or engagement photos, we’d love to see it. Tag us @equallywed and #equallywed on Instagram and submit your gallery of photos to us here.
