Elegant, woodsy mountain wedding in Boulder, Colorado

Bre proposed to Rae on Halloween after a night of bowling, using pumpkins. When Rae saw the pumpkins (which were in a field near Bre’s house), she said, “Oh look, someone got engaged here!” And when Bre didn’t respond, Rae looked and found her on one knee. “That basically sums up our relationship in one story—she’s the pragmatic intentional one and I’m the wanderlust-y, head in the clouds one,” says Rae.

Rae and Bre got married in the spring in an elegant, woodsy setting in the mountains in Boulder, Colorado, surrounded by their friends and family. Their first dance was to “Upside Down” by Goldford.

What advice would you give to engaged LGBTQ+ couples?

Research your vendors online or through friends ahead of time; this will save you the heartache of whether or not they will work with an LGBTQ+ couple. In the very early stages, we encountered a vendor that wouldn’t work with us because we’re LGBTQ+. After that, we strategically found vendors that were either part of the LGBTQ+ community or supportive. We did this by checking out LGBTQ+ wedding expos, using online communities like Dancing with Her and asking around.

Advice for vendors and venues working with LGBTQ+ couples?

Think about your marketing language and your documents. We loved our venue, which was an all-inclusive style, but all the paperwork for our ceremony, food preferences, music sheet and more were very gendered. For example, we had to fill out a music sheet with our song selections and order of our bridal party. We had to constantly cross out “groom” and “groomsmen” to add in “bride 2” and “bridesmaid.” It would’ve been so much easier if the form was just labeled something neutral like “name” or “party member 1.”

It left us feeling a bit sour and the DJ had to reorganize it since they were confused as to who belonged to who. If you are a vendor that has forms you ask engaged couples to fill out, just be mindful of the labels. I recognize most want to do this to help celebrate us and make it feel ‘wedding-y,’ but having the gendered forms actually made it more complicated when working with our vendors.

Did you encounter any pleasant surprises as an LGBTQ+ couple planning your wedding?

Yes! We felt very lucky to have so many family and friends commit to honoring our wedding. We come from a more conservative religious background, and we know many of our LGBTQ+ peers are not as lucky to have such support on their wedding day. Our blended families came together to through us an amazing rehearsal dinner and wedding, dedicating their time, energy and money into making our big day come together.