If you’re as obsessed with Roxane Gay—New York Times bestselling author, editor, professor and founder of Gay Mag on Medium—as I am, you’ll be thrilled to learn that she and her girlfriend Debbie Millman (artist, designer, writer and host of the podcast “Design Matters“) are officially engaged.
Millman shared the news of their engagement on Instagram last night and it’s romantic AF. Bonus points for the fact that the post, if you read it as a carousel, is actually poetry. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B40nXezg3MU/?utm_source=ig_embed
Autostraddle first reported Millman and Gay’s romantic relationship in June of this year, sharing that the two met when Millman reached out to Gay for her podcast “Design Matters.” Millman came out later in life and had a hard time connecting with the queer community. To entice Gay into being a guest, she began inviting other guests to her podcast that she knew Gay would be interested in. After Gay was eventually a guest on “Design Matters,” Millman asked her out on an official date.
“I’m the luckiest woman alive,” Debbie told Autostraddle’s Carmen Phillips. “It was the first time in my life that I aggressively went after someone.” Talking about their first date, Gay said, “We talked and I spilled wine on her because I’m so cool and then we went outside and she asked if she could kiss me and then she did.”
Earlier this year, Roxane Gay launched her online publication on Medium, Gay Mag. In her editorial letter to readers introducing the magazine, Gay wrote, “Representation matters so inclusion is integral to everything we do. We will not tokenize. We will embrace not only diverse writers but diverse voices and aesthetics.”
Congratulations, Debbie Millman and Roxane Gay!
Fin Leary
MOST VIEWED STORIES
- Rafaela and Nathalia’s Paraty Wedding Arrived by Boat to a Caiçara Community at the Edge of the Atlantic Forest
- Katherine and Michelle’s Hudson House Wedding Featured Rainbow Flags, Acrobats and a Spectacular Celebration of Love
- How to Stop Comparing Your Wedding to Everyone on Instagram
- A Nonbinary Wedding Photographer’s Take on New York Bridal Fashion Week — Wedding Attire Trends for 2027
- Toronto’s Big Queer Wedding Show Aims to Connect Queer Couples With Queer Vendors









