Devon Gibby and Rob Zimmerman, the Instagram couple behind Dads Not Daddies, decided to do something many couples shy away from — talk honestly about their breakup on social media.
Devon and Rob met online four years ago. Gibby was divorced with two kids and he and Zimmerman decided to co-parent in Salt Lake City, Utah. Gibby is a landscape designer and Zimmerman is an actor, filmmaker, and social media manager.
When the couple decided to end their relationship, they shared about it on social media with several Instagram posts and a YouTube video where they talk about the situation. It’s a vulnerable, raw choice for a couple with such a public following, especially since so much of what we see on social media is filtered through a perfect lens.
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“We don’t necessarily owe an explanation to anyone about our relationship,” explains Gibby in the YouTube video, “but we’ve spent the last 3 and a half years sharing aspects of our lives with you, and we wanna be real with you as we’ve tried really hard to be all along. Just because we post pictures on Instagram doesn’t mean we’re exempt from going through hard times and making hard choices.”
Gibby and Zimmerman went a step further than most couples who are public figures in the age of social media and posted professional breakup photos on Instagram.
“I’m feeling quite the vulnerability hangover lately but as I’m processing this change and transitioning the kinds of things I post, I really wanted to share these photos from @kurtisdallon,” reads Gibby’s Instagram caption.
The couple scheduled this photo shoot before they decided to end their relationship, but while they were going through challenges and hardships. They thought about canceling it but ultimately decided to use it as an opportunity to share the challenges and struggles in relationships.
“We strongly feel that these pictures have a beautiful purpose and intention of sharing the challenges in relationships, and it is important to share that authenticity,” writes Gibby on Instagram.
“We still had a lot of really positive responses to it, as people have been able to connect to it,” Gibby tells Out. “There’s also been a lot of strongly negative responses to it, and I think that’s just because as men we’re conditioned to avoid displaying emotion. I think queer people especially are kind of policed in their displaying of emotion and their expressions. It’s no surprise to me it’s happening now, especially in the gay community.”
Although Gibby doesn’t feel that social media had a part in his and Zimmerman’s breakup, he admits that the culture around Instagram couples can be a lot of pressure. He doesn’t regret sharing the breakup on social media but feels a sense of relief about not having to be part of such a public-facing Instagram couple anymore. Gibby plans to take Dads Not Daddies in a new direction following the breakup where he can feature other LGBTQ+ dads and connect with the community in a new way.
